Skinny Jeans

I think Jay-Z summed it up best when he said, " I don't wear skinny jeans cause my knots don't fit." Double meaning, Knots = Nuts. I couldn't have said it better myself. I'm 29 (2 months from 30, yikes!). I'm not too young, not too old. Kind of right in the middle. So please don't mistake me for some old grouch who can't grow with the times or "trends" (wow, I fucking hate that word). I'm just me. And me? I just happen to really, really fucking hate, despise, skinny jeans. I get it though. How much did everyone hate the baggy jeans when I was growing up? Mostly parents. That was a trend too. And although I don't wear em' quite as baggy as I use to, you'll never catch me in a pair of those skinny, pathetic looking jeans. Why do I hate them so much? The answer is simple. Just look!!! I mean, seriously, look at them! My first question to frequent wearers of these jeans is, "How the fuck did you get those on?!?" It's like the old saying....those pants are so tight they probably had to be sling shot on! Let me clear something up first. It's not just dudes that piss me off wearing them, it's chicks too! I'm pretty much like any other guy. I like girls wearing "tight" jeans, not "skinny." Yes, there is a difference. What? Skinny jeans start wide at the top (waist) and just get skinnier all the way down, to the point the cuff is literally skin tight to the ankle. I have a real problem with any guy from my generation who puts these on. I can understand a high-schooler wearing them, because, basically, they don't get it yet. But a guy from my generation? WTF! How do you get the ol' Frank 'n' Beans in? And...and...what if you get a hard-on? What do you do then? In normal cases, in normal jeans, you could probably just sit it out (unless you get the dreaded call on from the teacher for a stand up answer). With the skinny jeans you can't sit or stand! Maybe you have to be impitant to wear them? Or tuck it? LOL! In any case boys and girls, you look like dipshits with them on. It looks like you took one pant leg, cut it in half and made two pant legs out of it. I want to cry every time I see a dude walk by wearing them. Literally. Not for him, but for his poor man parts, who don't understand why they have to be squished everyday just to follow a "trend." I know. This isn't the 90s anymore and it's not the 00s. Things change. But if this keeps going on, men will evolve. Smaller ( ), less sperm, less babies? Maybe that's why the high-schoolers like it so much? Probably not. Bottom line....it stupid. Guys...please...please stop wearing your little sisters pants.